You clearly live in a different breakfast world than I do.

Lost my life savings in the investment, but I have a warehouse full of Joe Patern-Os I am willing to sell cheap.

Good church man is always up in people's shit.

Sir or madam: you are a poet.

Scowling jowl-man is a classic power move. Up there with "my tie is so long it definitely carries piss residue."

Will o' the WASP

I wouldn't call it a "bad time." Now we all have smart phones, so spending hours on the toilet can be a relaxing chance to catch up on reading. Or watch Citizen Kane!

Never been to the Midwest. This article has convinced me that my brat experience (Johnsonville on a hot dog bun) needs to be expanded.

For me, "eat what you want" creates a much greater calorie surplus than I could ever exercise away.

Glass o' water on the side for dippin'!

Maybe *your* world isn't.

Sir or madam, you're doing God's work.

It's not fair that he can be Don Draper and also be hilarious.

How ISN'T it, Ham.

Meaning no disrespect to women, that's C.

Agreed. It sounds like diarrhea.

Jesus.

I know it's beloved! I watched it at my wife's insistence; she knew every line of dialogue and every song to the word.

I'm 43. It just always seemed like a kid's movie, one I had heard so much about that it seemed redundant to watch. I knew the plot, had heard most of the songs, had seen many of the visuals. Devoting 2 hours to watching the whole thing almost felt unnecessary.

I think so, MLA. But arugula-flavored gelato?