I'm more of a Susan Boyle well-wisher, in that I don't wish her any particular harm.

Do you think Susan Boyle knows how much money she can get for her old jewelry?

They should've resurrected the 10th Mountain Division for some sweet WWII combat zombie-vs-combat zombie-on-skis Warren Miller crossover action.

Shit mixes itself, yo.

They rock "Take the Gum Outta Yer Mouth".

You know what's a cool name? "Midfield General". This name sucks.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian was almost as good as the National Portrait Museum on three hits of acid. I can hardly believe half the shit those guys were going on about.

My models are showing a singularity on the event horizon…a crackerhole, if you will.

"See me".

Fuck! I meant Apache, Apache!

It's Inuit for "you'd last about 1 hour at a real job".

The popularity of Sarah Palin is directly proportional to my investments in War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death.

I own a toilet, but I only leave upper-deckers.

I stand corrected Hunsweasel, although I think we're REALLY talking about man vs. man, and that just doesn't have the same bing to it.

Microsoft may find itself temporarily impecunious.

So Bing is a reticule?

Batman vs. genetically altered Robin is my favorite.

How about God vs. Satan? I bet even the book would be a best-seller.

What would Carradine be doing wanking in Thailand? I mean, he's David Carradine, and it's Thailand.

And we all know that cops will even shoot other cops if the thought crosses their minds. Cops around here especially like to shoot the unarmed retarded kids. Crazy guy with a gun in the street? It would be like the end of that "Hunting Season" cartoon with Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny, except he wouldn't be able to…