He's going to grow up to be a great database administrator.

You know what's funny, I've actually worked with people who nuked whales. The jokers out on Johnston Atoll used to nuke just about anything for a laugh, it seems.

Is okay, make audience titter is good job!

This brings us one step closer to my true nightmare, a richly detailed CGI "In the Night Kitchen".

As long as you don't take to reviewing similarities between late-period Rome and the United States, Sean.

I'd like a not tongue in cheek remake of Starsky and Hutch and a really dark Dukes of Hazzard where the boys are mixing up meth instead of moonshine.

Your new slogan is actually Houston sucks but our Houston is unbearably hot.

This is why I don't care for parks, Smithers. Too many fat children.

Other than Swingers, he also made Mr. and Mrs. Smith watchable.

Next is Love Boat, where the steamiest romance wins. With your Purser Ron Jeremy and Sasha Grey as Activities Director.

Devo, Talking Heads, Chemical Brothers all very strong, but if you're really going for a max lift or something I think you need Wagner.

every Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday in the afternoon
Morphine kicks ass for workouts. The band.

a singularity
I'm going to get this now, but it won't be the first or the last time an AVClub review puts me over the edge. Even after 4 years.

The only really fun pub crawl I've checked out is SantaCon. Where else can you see groups of 20 to 30 bleary-eyed, staggering Santas vomiting in the gutter outside a strip club?

That's by far the least offensive thing on peopleofwalmart.com. The see-through spandex ones are the worst.

The cousins are Adolf Hilter and a guy named Dick Skinner. Hilarity ensues.

Down here at the Arboretum we just call her Tina. She's been fucking the passerby since before ole Hank started.

Parapaligic in a tree is the new MPDG. PIAT, if you will.

Ain't no ee-feminate doctor-boy fixin' them 16 loose arteries, son. Not in this world.

You think you're a bad Catholic, you should talk to my priest! No, seriously, he was on 20/20.