As a Californian, I'm okay with this list. For the most part.

"You're using way too much chocolate syrup there, but I just can't object."

"You're using way too much chocolate syrup there, but I just can't object."

"I don't care how many kids I have, James, you just can't get away with eating one of them."

"I don't care how many kids I have, James, you just can't get away with eating one of them."

Hey where do these stairs go?

Hey where do these stairs go?

Son of Sam. Oh wait.

Son of Sam. Oh wait.

Yeah, cause Son of the Mask and Son of the Pink Panther turned out so fucking well.

Yeah, cause Son of the Mask and Son of the Pink Panther turned out so fucking well.

In Romney's defense, the meat from Big Bird's flayed carcass would feed a lot of families.

In Romney's defense, the meat from Big Bird's flayed carcass would feed a lot of families.

Against so many fibers of my being, my tiny shreds of intelligence, this movie looks fucking awesome.

Against so many fibers of my being, my tiny shreds of intelligence, this movie looks fucking awesome.

Touche.

Touche.

Oh come on now. I love Spielberg and Daniel Day-Lewis, but this trailer is overwrought with hamminess. The movie might be a masterpiece (I suspect not, although I'm hopeful) but should this trailer be so operatic? No.

Oh come on now. I love Spielberg and Daniel Day-Lewis, but this trailer is overwrought with hamminess. The movie might be a masterpiece (I suspect not, although I'm hopeful) but should this trailer be so operatic? No.

I'm starting to think I can't take this movie seriously.