True. Football is pointless, and basketball has become a non-competitive joke.

Don't…don't challenge these weird fuckers to outdo themselves. Cause they will. They will.

And just like that, you got a writer credit! An eagle that shoots freedom beams out of its eyes AND a qualified writer?! You. Magnificent. Bastard.

Sela, baby! Yes!

That's shitty. But…and hear me out…make a drinking game of it! Every time Pine is on screen and doesn't croak, take a shot! Win win.

Flashback/dream sequence seems like the most logical way to bring him back. Personally, I find it kind of unnecessary, but that's probably just me. I'd rather see her without a love interest and just beat the custard out of people or Gods.

I kind of hope Diana spends years gathering up the rotting chunks of whatever's left of Steve, before crudely forming them into the shape of a man and writing "Steve" in Sharpie. Then we can hear about how people don't like to have their superheroes "deconstruced."

We can totally trust WB to not do something donkey-brained, right? Sure, they've made 3 movies that made my children cry, but they made Wonder Woman!

If only I could pay Cold War ticket prices to see this! Awww, who am I kidding? I'd pay twice the ticket prices to see Wonder Woman II. Gimme! Gimme gimme!!

Sounds like you're speaking as a hardcore baseball fan. The all star games in their respective sports are probably made for the casual fan whose heard these peoples names or something. And you're right. The all star game is rarely interesting. And you're also right that the Phillies suck, but so do my Mets damnit!

That first sentence reminds me of a 34 year old woman who was wearing a Tweety Bird long-sleeve button up shirt. In public. With not a hint of irony. At a bowling alley. I'm just happy I'm not the only one who thinks those people are absurd.

Narnia or North Korea?

I'm surprised they don't keep the chilling laughter of Orinn Hatch on constant loop.

Somewhere, Clay Aiken looks wistfully at the sky.

Time for crystal meth and Pabst Blue Ribbon to shine!

Whoa! That's better than anything they've come up with! How would you like a job setting the course of American progress back a few decades while getting generous contributions from Lobbyists simply for having no sense of decency?

**Lorena Bobbit angrily throws hands in air**

**vomits in a bucket just to get that image out of head**

Just like the uninsured rate!

Yayyyyyy!!! Congress just got a new theme song!