Everyone I've met from New York is either really awesome or just shitty, and coasting off of living in New York.

Everyone I've met from New York is either really awesome or just shitty, and coasting off of living in New York.

The holocaust is played out kid, you want laughs you go with the Armenian Genocide. 

The holocaust is played out kid, you want laughs you go with the Armenian Genocide. 

A lot of times distribution companies will make deals with theaters where they can show a really great movie that people will enjoy as long as they show a crappy movie that nobody likes for a certain number of shows. That's why the theater I work at is showing that movie about hippie Jane Fonda trying to get her…

A lot of times distribution companies will make deals with theaters where they can show a really great movie that people will enjoy as long as they show a crappy movie that nobody likes for a certain number of shows. That's why the theater I work at is showing that movie about hippie Jane Fonda trying to get her…

Oh thank god. Now I'll finally be able to understand what the hell people are talking about.

Oh thank god. Now I'll finally be able to understand what the hell people are talking about.

I thought that was a D- and an F is just offensive to the eyes.

I thought that was a D- and an F is just offensive to the eyes.

It should turn out the couple has face blindness and they've been accidentally kidnapping children for years. The guy they torture just wants his kid back.

It should turn out the couple has face blindness and they've been accidentally kidnapping children for years. The guy they torture just wants his kid back.

They're not the kind of parents who follow the investigation of their child's death or anything. They were too busy taking that torture class.

They're not the kind of parents who follow the investigation of their child's death or anything. They were too busy taking that torture class.

Coming soon from Universal. He's a international secret agent disguised as a house painter…and bad guys always need their walls painted. Sherwin Williams: Cover the Earth.

Coming soon from Universal. He's a international secret agent disguised as a house painter…and bad guys always need their walls painted. Sherwin Williams: Cover the Earth.

I thought we had to end everything with stop so you can tell sentence breaks stop

I thought we had to end everything with stop so you can tell sentence breaks stop

I think the people you hang out with take comedy way too seriously, or are stoned and over-analyzing.

I think the people you hang out with take comedy way too seriously, or are stoned and over-analyzing.