Do the Charmin bears talk? I seem to remember a rhyming voice over. Though they have apparently grown tired of shitting in the woods and taken over a house to live out their lives as a gross mockery of the family they killed.

Most people call me Sploogie, even though I've asked them not to.

Is $500 dollars too much to pay to have a character named Gustav von Sploogenugget in the film?

I guess I thought they'd be more like peach rings.

The fact that he seems to think Romeo and Juliet is the ideal romance story explains a lot.

Pigeons in Chicago are dicks. I don't know how many times one has dive bombed me only to swoop away at the last minute.

I've found myself less excited by concerts as I've gotten older, but usually it's more about the audience than the band. Everybody just stands around politely bobbing their head most of the time. I'd much rather go to a show where I can mosh or somehow be active, otherwise I get antsy and start thinking about how…

That pretty much describes it, except everybody is drunk and there are tons of parties to go to before and after. It's one of the few Santa Fe events that's not catering specifically to wealthy retirees. But yeah the music they play usually sucks. This year it was a Guns and Roses cover band that ran out of songs and…

Whenever someone mentions Will Shuester my mind immediately snaps to the artist from the '20s who started the tradition of burning a giant puppet every year in Santa Fe. It tends to make the conversation quite odd.

I would much prefer a Bazooka Joe movie to this. Especially if it show how he lost his eye.

I can't believe Spoiler Space was a dream the whole time.

That joke always reminds me of New Mexico, where we still get outbreaks of the plague every year.

Bartholomew and the 500 Hats, sponsored by the Hair Club for Men.

I always heard that Horton Hears a Who was about putting aside wartime animosity towards the Japanese and trying to rebuild the nation with their input instead of just doing what America thinks is best because we won.

Pets are social parasites. They leech off of honest Americans lying around all day and eating perfectly good cat food that we could be feeding our elderly. They don't even mouse unless they feel like it. If you hire an exterminator you don't have to pay for him to live in-house, and I'm sure he would let you scratch…

I was under the impression that they started all start off as babes but those Russian winters eventually turn everybody into weather-beaten trolls.

There's a whole article about them at http://gawker.com/5885082/  I particularly like "A Prince who is son to a Great King must have twice as Prosperous a
reign as his Successor— otherwise he will be a Failure to Privilege."

I'm sure donkeys want to lay around in the mud all day instead of work and pigs want to feel useful, not just a piece of meat.

Maybe he wanted to see if it would work off the roof.

That's what she said!