I hear you, because this is the ear that I did not lose in a button.

Hi, I'm Scott Thompson. Did you know that masturbation related house fires kill 7000 North Americans each year? If you're going to masturbate, please, masturbate where you can keep an eye on any small fires contained in your household. It could save your life.

He also doesn't seem to know what peaches are.

The Squirrel Nut Zipper's Christmas album is some of the only holiday music I can stand year after year.

I bet he gets that request a lot. That and "Santa Fe."

"Why can I not visit this free man?"
"Because you did not pay the Mr. Bale's required fee for a personal appearance including a nominal charge for any use of the Bat-voice."

"Why can I not visit this free man?" sounds like slightly off-script improving to me.

I like how the investigators are so obsessed with using their gadgets to analyze food particles from the deceased teeth, or some such, that it'll take most of the show for them to realize that if they just ran the fingerprint from the soap they would've caught the guy in five minutes.

It depends which you like less, sex-stopping strains, or vicious little burns.

But, if you have sex with a menstruating woman, you gain some of her lunar powers. If you have sex with a gay man you just ruin your political career.

Wah waah wah waaaaah; wah waaah waah. Waaaah wah waaah wah?

I just assumed all this brouhaha was stealth marketing for the upcoming Fishbone documentary. Bachmann you fool, you've played right into their hands.

I'll agree that breasts have been cheapened through plastic surgery, but still, an amazing natural rack is something that cannot be replicated and should be treated with suitable reverence.

Sometimes.

I've been told I look like Jon Hamm the morning after a bar fight. That's good right?

Build it high enough that we can't see him.

It looks like Spanglish has become Spanglisha.

I think it's romantic, to just look at someone and know that's the baby you're going to fuck for the rest of your life.

I just blue myself.

I would have a hard time laughing at someone because they're pathetic too, but the fact that Hank is such an arrogant ass makes up for it.