I saw The Last Wave when I was a little kid and it gave me fucked up dreams.

I've got a tattoo of a dick on my dick, and the phrase, "it is his destiny," in Olde English script.

What was that terrible snowboard movie that was basically a remake of Casablanca? Out Cold?

I think equating Glenn Beck and Jon Stewart is perfect. Jon Stewart makes a comedy show, and Glenn Beck is a joke.

If it's truly history-soaked I can make a bathtub clone.

They're breaking the seed matrix.

I've always though these episodes were just kind of mediocre. Not good enough to like, but not bad enough to hate. The only reason they're not forgettable is because they're so gimmicky.

You've obviously never had a shark blowjob.

I want to see more Teddy Roosevelts and less Franklin Roosevelts.

The longer I smoke, the more physical activities I pick up to justify it. At this rate when I'm sixty I'll be a decathlon-running vegan yogi just so I can continue to smoke when I drink.

Cookie Monster probably has the best ratio of gimmick-to-legitimate commenter. He can post all he wants and as long as he keeps up the voice we'll all love him. It certainly helps that he's one of the most insightful guy I've come across on the internet.

I'd bet a Charlie Sheen trial would be a lot like Charlie Kelly after a Law & Order marathon and a bag of spray paint.

So that's what that was.

I don't know about Utah, but from what I understand, in some states it is illegal to sell sex toys in stores or as anything other than novelties. I heard some chick got arrested by undercover cops not because she hosted a sex toy party, but because she admitted that said toys could be used for sex.

Error. Error. Offensive language detected. Ire subroutine engaged.

Dave Mathews came to Chicago and all I got was a shitty t-shirt.

How about a barely literate LeVar Burton. It would explain why he reads so many children's books.

I always assumed there was some future war of British imperialism.

He is when he gives up sex.

Little Pete got his own commemorative pen and everything.