Early morning programming if terrifying. Everyone is so manic and cheerful. They should really make a show called Hair of the Dog hosted by someone who is pissed off that he has to be up so early to do a talk show for people who have nothing better to do at eight o'clock in the morning than get up and face the day.

There's a This American Life episode about a cryogenics company that ran out of money. They started doubling up bodies in the chambers, probably causing freezer burn by breaking the seal, before they ended up letting everybody melt.

Akom's animation always makes it seem like all the characters are drunk and trying not to bump into anything.

I didn't say the episode was good, just that it handled inter-species rape better than The Simpsons.

But Dave Foley is comfortable with menstruation, or does that make you gay?

When kids in the future read their history books they will learn of the exploits of Disney's SEAL Team Six. It's too bad companies didn't think of this sooner. We could have all learned that courageous chant that helped lead Texas to independence, "Remember the Alamo brought to you by Bowie knives."

It's not a bomb, it's just a big box of dildos.

When we see a cartoon character get hurt it's easier to laugh, even if they're laying in a bloody broken heap at the bottom of Springfield Gorge, because it's a drawing. Cartoons can injure the main character in ways that would normally be fatal and by the time the next episode, or next scene comes around the…

Judging by the promotional photo the show will we about all the characters from the movie dying in a horrible RV accident and being sent to limbo.

JFK-zilla has been shot.

If I were Charlie Sheen I'd just have my assistant transcribe my rants to twitter. Getting that man in front of a keyboard will only slow him down.

I see Terminator as a franchise about a kid whose concept of reality is so messed up by all the time travel going on around him that it all becomes a jumbled mess. T2 is the one that did it to him. It was so awesome that he developed a messiah complex which altered his future self and turned him into Christian Bale.

I'd probably buy an official The Dude's rug if it were reasonably priced and didn't come with a replica piss stain.

What were they doing in Canada?

I've always wondered what my dad thought about that movie when we saw it in the theaters as I'm sure he was high.

I'd probably try just about everything in Naked Lunch. But only if I had a Mr. Nice Guy connection.

I always thought a man's vehicle was supposed to be referred to in the feminine. If that's the case truck nuts might just be transgender.

I used to have a "Howl if you like City Lights Books" bumper sticker.

Yeah, give the wandering late-night drunks their due.

Hancock was half a good movie.