Really? And here I was going to blame you.

"Have we tried getting Kirk Cameron? I loved him on Growing Pains."

Think about it, man— she could drive you anywhere!

Man, this sounds like a terrible Counterstrike rip-off made by some awful third party developer. Would've also accepted "Prime Alpha Force: Mission Dangerous"

Hey, Dick, just 'cause he wears the clothes…

"Man you won't believe how much I earn, yo
Numbers make you look the other way like Paterno"

It was making you post unfunny jokes?

Aw, I'm not ashamed of my 19 year old self. I'm also 19.

Okay, slow down, who are The Beatles?

We'll see how the crusty old dean reacts when he finds out he's eating a panty sandwich!

In other news, Slipknot has KSSHKSHHBURGAAAARKSSHHAAGHHYARRRBURGHHHKSHKSH

Dan Fogler has a comedic sissy slap fight.

I hope people like my 'Myst' screenplay, which is just a dude wandering around the same general area over and over for 2 hours until he starts yelling profanities and eventually just quits.

Business plans like this explain why you are not, in fact, a rich man.

Hey, Taco Party outside Archie Leech's office. Why didn't the AV Club invite Archie? Archie likes tacos.

I'm not a sycophant! I just said hello!

It's weird to see O'Neal acknowledge the comments section. Hey O'Neal! How you doing?

By "it," you mean your internal organs, right?

"Why does the bitch refuse to suck dick?"

Whedon noted that it was "based on a play"? How modest of him.