I'd say that, considering people were calling me a dick, an asshole, the worst writer on the site, a journalistic fraud, and an uneducated dolt before I even had a chance to respond, the "merciless mocking" ship sailed a long time ago.

"It would be incredible minutiae to know this character."

I can't get the flowchart I made in Visio to post here, but before I fuck off to make my buttermilk pie for Thanksgiving, but Bitch Hunter, let me walk through this, and you can tell me exactly where I went wrong.

Nope.

To be fair, though, I'm almost always drunk, so it's not much of a handicap.

Dude, it's 4PM on the Wednesday before a four-day weekend. You think I'm NOT gonna be drunk by now?

Once again, I apologize for my mistake in whatever it is I am supposed to have done here.

Do you know how hard I work to age that bologna?

What, "Sigh" isn't a good enough answer? Should I add an emoticon?

Oh, it's not my joke. It's Joss Whedon's. I just restated it so the Internet would come here and yell at me.

Give him two or three failed movies. A few years ago, Lance Bass would have openly scoffed at the very idea.

Sigh.

http://www.imdb.com/title/t…

Oh, great. Now you guys know my real name.

Sean is enjoying a well-earned vacation day at his summer palace in downtown Undisclosed Location.

See, I am not surprised that a bunch of pop-culture-loving adults know who the Marx Brothers are. My point is, the comment was directed at small children, who…you know what? I'm going back to bed.

So, to recap today's Newswire:
- "American Idol" is destroying itself and taking the rest of television down with it
- Netflix is soaking high-volume customers for more money
- the superhero glasses I've been drinking out of since I was three are poison

It's not even a question of discussing the comics in context, although, as I've mentioned time and time again, there are a million other places to do that on the Internet where you WON'T be spoiling things for people who haven't read the comics. But I believe you when you say you weren't trying to troll. But there…

Marxist
I watched the whole 2003 parade and live-blogged it for another publication, and when the Marx Brothers float showed up, useless host Dave Price felt the need to explain that "a lot of our youngest viewers might not remember the Marx Brothers." Gee, do you think, Dave? Given that their last movie was made 60…

I'm assuming Merle either isn't the one who stole the van, or decided to go someplace else. Maybe he went to the Coca-Cola bottling plant.