THE A.V. CLUB

You think Left Shark got paid scale?

(Popeye voice)

"Airplane!"

About halfway through "The Satanic Verses". It's dense, but I'm enjoying Rushdie's style.

I'll take it over my current job, which involves breasts only in the most incidental manner, and otherwise bores me to tears.

The folks on the subway aren't thrilled either.

But what do you think of public boners?

I'll come to.

Ah - I take your meaning.

Sometimes I even say "cavort".

What took you so long?

The worst thing about crucifixion was that Jesus couldn't hide his erection.

One doesn't? Then my girlfriend has been lying to me! For five years!

If the novelty of breasts ever wears off, just kill me.

Why are you talking to anyone on Craigslist, ever?

They often do, in my experience!

Where DO you find so many codpieces in this day and age?

I don't know about that lady, but feeling like a divine intervener is the only way I can get turned on.

… if only I could get the Carpenters out of my head.