I wanted to do Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein but (a) we just covered it last year when it was released on Blu-ray and (b) the ban against the use of first-person in this article type keeps me from telling the story of how my father, as a young boy, got so scared during AACMF that he chewed through a cheap belt…

In his similarly apocalyptic review, Richard Roeper cited Freddy Got Fingered, which again is anything but an exercise in deliberate mediocrity, however you feel about it. I'll happily take dozens of those movies over the average rom-com.

Apologies. The dark side of excessive auteurism on my part.

A bunch of transcendental films by Ozu, Bresson and Dreyer, followed by The Canyons.

Well, I think it's as bad as it sounds. It's the point where an already wild movie hits fever pitch—it's disturbing not only for the kangaroo slaughter, but for the madness of these men blasting through the scrub at breakneck speed, guns blazing. Your revulsion may be mitigated by the fact that the sequence is…

Seriously. Precious was pretty much the worst film of that year, just as The Paperboy is one of the worst of this year.

Alas, no. I mistakenly hit backspace on the Lowery. It's an "A-."

That was some too-hasty editing on my part. It's been fixed.

I'll be damned. Even The Weight Of Water fits that thesis. I tip my hat to you.

We review films when they're released theatrically in America. For consistency's sake, we use the release title. But just for you: HORS SATAN.

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOURE TALKING ABOUT MY OWNAGE IS MY OWNAGE.

You need to listen to the notes I *don't* play.

I compared it favorably to all those movies, though!

Ugh, you're right. It's been changed.

Yes. In 2012, Samantha Mathis became the replacement Dagny Taggert and Christian Slater starred in the lowest-grossing movie (Playback, which made $264 theatrically). Tough times.

I had to pull it from the schedule. After spending a lot of time with Terry Zwigoff on the New Cult Canon tour, I decided that I should recuse myself from writing about his work. I like him too much and consider him a friend. I really like Ghost World and think it belongs in the Canon, but I don't think it's right for…

Yeah, I was dubious, too, but his bit on the disc is really insightful.

I can't recommend Violence At Noon highly enough. It'll turn your brain into mush.

Weird. I thought there was more to it than that.

I gave it a B. And I was totally right to do so.