Oooh Guinness is too dark for me. I tried to do the stout thing for a while, drinking stouts and porters, but in the end I mostly like nutbrown or amber, and sometimes black, mainly 1554 or Ugly Pug.

Thanks, 4 strength, I am glad you guys are always helping me out since I am terrible at coming up with clever comebacks.

I'm gonna go ahead and change my picture now, and hope (in vain) that this happens less often. So hopefully that will give you a sense of satisfaction. You made a difference.

I'm sorry, but I have terribly sensitive skin.

Pretty sure the best local brew in Texas is Rahr's Red or possibly their Ugly Pug, but I am also pretty sure that you can only get them in Tarrant County.

Oh my lord
It really defies logic. Is this one of those Christian movies? Really? Ice T and Hercules?

It's almost like, at some point in his life, believing that celery had negative calories actually caused him some kind of deep, scarring, personal trauma and now he cannot stand to hear of it.

I am confused that he's so upset about it. It is one thing to be like, "Haha celery doesn't have negative calories, dumbass," and a totally different thing to invite me to crawl into a hole and self-flagellate and never touch the internet again because I am full-on retarded because I happened to repeat some erroneous…

The closer to room temperature it *should* be enjoyed, the realer the beer.

I agree, I love adorable things, despite myself, and Michael Cera is still the number one adorable thing in movies right now that I can think of, although the tweeness of this preview has muddled my brain a little. I will see it.

Yeah, when I first started drinking it was all Keystone and Miller Light. And then one day I had a Shiner. It was a revelation. Beer was meant to be delicious, and enjoyed, not just a means to a drunken end.

Celery is actually negative calories, so would throwing it up actually lead to weight gain? Or just double the negative calorie effect?

That is the extent of what I know about her too, that Tim & Eric bit. It was pretty good, though. I probably thought, "I should find out more about her, because this is awesome." But then I didn't. I'm bad about following up.

ALSO: The heat wasn't so bad, but the dust inhalation did some serious damage to my lungs and throat. I lost my voice for two days after the festival and I had dirt stuck in most of my mucus membranes for about that long too. Gross but true, you have to be prepared if you ever decide to go.

I sometimes pick up a six-pack of Lonestar for the riddles under the cap. Always good for some entertainment after you've already been drinking. It took us months to solve one particular cap.

There was also a Dressy Jesse, with an "e". I looked this up on the internet because I had to know.

It's cool, he was just looking to get a reaction and picked me, probably thinking fatties are insecure or something. Hasn't everyone been hassled by a troll at some point on here? I don't take it personally.

Additionally, thank you Kirk. I try not to feed the trolls, but your comment is much appreciated.

You're so right. Thank you for reminding me to put my priorities back in order. Even if they don't have all the bands, I know exactly where I can get drunk, and then go get some amazing bar-b-que or migas

kick: Well, not all of them, but most of the ones that are doing the "Music Festival" circuit this year. Mainly, the point was that ACL probably won't have as many bands I care to see.