I will acknowledge that there are instances of trumped-up fake feminism dripping in heavy-handed self-righteousness all over the internet.

It's lonely being the only person in the world who enjoyed season 2 of The Walking Dead.

What the hell is this circle-strike bullshit? This is my territory.

I saw "America". The thesis of the film boils down to "There are many indictments against America… slavery, the theft of native land… but the only real crime America is guilty of is leveling indictments against me: Dinesh D'Souza."

This explains why my Sunday School teacher was arrested, copyright infringement!

Why am I not superimposed on Adam Sandler's face? I've wanted to be for years. This feels like a snub.

Someone impose me over this image and save us all some heartache.

This just means there's more room for the "Chasing Mavericks" sequel I've been writing for the past two years!

The fan fiction just exhibited a disturbing level of eroticism. IE: not enough.

Look, the legitimacy of the canon is not something I take lightly.

A good ol'-fashioned Texas-Style XXTRA-Large Bowl-O-White-People… now with massive projector screens and melted cheese in certain places.

I'll see this if they can get Zach Braff on board.

Second-greatest. I'm not rife with spelling errors.

This is how I have to approach all of my online dating profiles.

This exists, which has far-reaching implications for all of us.

"I read the AV Club for the comments."—Guy Who Yelled "Rick James" at Chappelle

You know, I recently got tested. Turns out my spirit animal is a fox.

Inception called. It wants its zeitgeist un-bastardized.

In the not-too-distant future, only deliberately bad movies will be made.

His name is Chuck Palahniuk's remaining shreds of legitimacy. His name is . . .