Ryan Burnett, to Jack
"STOP PUMMELING ME! IT'S REEEEEALLY PAINFUL!"

Ryan Burnett, to Jack
"STOP PUMMELING ME! IT'S REEEEEALLY PAINFUL!"

What Green Mamba MEANT to say was: "STUPID RACISTS…BE-MORE-FUNNY!"

Huh.
I think I was at the same grocery store as this guy.

How Dare You!
If you all are speaking ill of fine network programming such as "When Buildings Collapse," may God have mercy on your souls.

Overheard during Rainn's time at CNN…
"Whenever I'm about to pray to a deity, I think: 'Would an idiot pray to him?' And if they would, I do not pray to that being."

Even I Thought This Movie Was Awful…
…and I LOVED "Hail to the Chimp."

The unheard audio clip from Bale and his DP…
DP: Well, Christian, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.

PLAY TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS!
NO NEW CRAP, NO WORKIN' ON A DREAM, AND NO MAGIC…GET TO THE WORKIN' OVERTIME PART!

I liked the part…
…where the man who voiced me wasn't crazy.

*In airport with hack, pointing at The Beast Rabin*

I was pissed…
…when Darth Maul killed his ass at the end of this.

Wait…
I'm confused about the Inauguration. So Obama knew that Internal Affairs was setting him up?

From now on…
…there are three ways to execute someone: the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way.

Hmmmm.
Wall Street people don't need companionship, or parties, or fancy food. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

"The L Word Is Now A Murder Mystery"
"Mr. Simpson, this show could drastically increase your brainpower. Or, it could kill you."

You see, WHITE people have biopics like THIS…and BLACK people have biopics like THIS!
It's true! We're soooo lame!

No new stuff, Fall Out Boy, no more crap, just…
GET TO THE WORKIN' OVERTIME PART!

I liked the part…
…where the dogs were in the hotel.

An Attempt at Decency
Golden Globes, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is—never try.