Excellent! I'm nearly 37, so I'm still under the line. I'll tell the story about the time I was putting in siding and my back went out.

Ooooh we could do flash-mob intentional vomiting! Good lord, the chaos. You're sitting in Grand Central Station, a'waiting on a train, feelin near as faded as your jeans. Then 250 people show up and suddenly puke.

Coprophagia.

I'm good for a post or two, before I start repeating myself.

And Louisiana. I had a squirrel there once.

Correction: she's POOtriotic.

Don't jackasses pretty much ruin every online game?

Then imagine what getting kicked in the balls would do for you!

Then imagine what getting kicked in the balls would do for you!

I would love to design a guitar I could play which would have a hole in the body right over my crotch. Imagine the surprise of the front row when I actually did start fucking my guitar. And of course after.

I see no porn movies were included. I understand why: the quality really has been slipping since the mid-80s.

I've seen 57. Oddly enough, that's the number of Heinz flavors of ketchup. Hmm. There MUST be something to that. To the batcomputer!

Abbott and Costello

She could've stayed at home and brewed up meth in her garage and still felt like a "little chemist".

That's all I need to know? So I memorized the Gettysburg Address, the names of the states and their capitols, and that "the quality of mercy" speech for nothing? GODDAMMIT.

So are you guys saying that my hourly texting of blurry camera-phone pictures of my erect penis isn't enough?! Dammit, what must a man do??

I'm just kidding. I want to fuck Maria Bartiromo. That lady is one hot cookie, lemme tell ya.

I want to go where no man has gone before.
In short, I want to fuck a virgin.

Shit yeah! Ima make a movie outta that one!

The idea of being literally knee-deep in pussy is kind of nasty.