I'm going to see it, but I'm hoping to find a date who will give me a handjob in the theater. That bumps any movie up a letter grade.

Counter counter bullshit. At least when they incorporated plots, this tended to have a softening effect on the context of the sex; in other words, it didn't just seem like two people in a room with harsh lighting fucking as hard as possible, the two participants might seem like a couple, or coworkers, or a lady and a…

Will do!

Come ON
We can do better than this stuff, right? Come on AV Club ladies, let's make a porn together and see if we can do better than this silly-sounding tripe!

So, I have to ask…
Is the uncut version of A Touch of Genie available? :D

Well, I remember back in the day when I was going to stop believing, until Steve Perry from Journey really turned me around.

I bet Emmy smells niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Come on, lighten up. She's only looking for a hand in the snow.

I smell ejaculate.

If anyone's going to ruin my joke, let it be me.

I figured if I made you wait any longer, one of these other monkeyfuckers would've jumped in just to ruin my joke.

-DARY!!

Apparently Lefty Frizzell was LEGEN-

If I had a girlfriend with eidetic memory, I would want her to watch an enormous amount of porn.

"The Fartist", coming to Fox!

Okay, wait, so the genetic experiment went awry, or the nuclear explosion went awry? I'm confused. As is so often the case.

A real man's breakfast consists of nineteen hardboiled eggs, an entire package of bacon cooked to total crispiness, a blackened copper pot, six barbequed bonobos, and the head of another man's wife, freshly torn from her body.

Pocky Pocky bo-Bocky, banana-fanna fo-Focky, fee fi mo Mocky…

And while Elegant Victorian Lady does indeed waver, it is *I* who remains erect!

I care for little else than reading about Sean's testicles.