Calling the co-founder of a "company" called Brownmark records for his response to an adult cartoon parodying/satirizing his "company's" YouTube video, "What What (In The Butt)"…great job, or greatest job in the history of employment?

@SMcK: I think that last sentence was the pitch MasterCard gave their agents.

Expect a subpoena from Lars Ulrich.

Technically speaking, he didn't actually kick anyone in the face. He kicked a balloon that had a kid behind it…like in croquet when you hit someone's ball off the course.

Do you really think Gorgoroth would bother with the goat if there was a small child on stage?

Judging by the "face" they have bulging out of the center of the card, I think MasterCard may be misrepresenting their actual target audience.

Tom Cruise should actually do a guest spot on Mario's show, since he has also fathered a human child via sexual reproduction with a member of the opposite sex.

I resent your tone! I'm nowhere near as frothy as this movie! *storms out of the thread*

@Jorge: from their website: "In June 2001, Neil Cole, head of the Candie's fashion brand, launched The Candie's Foundation to educate America's youth about the devastating consequences of teenage pregnancy."

The Situation is white?

…and Levi Johnston stares through the window, clutching an engagement ring, a single tear sliding down his cheek. Then he's tackled by Kathy Griffin, who grabs the engagement ring and tweet-twats that she and Levi are now engaged.

After how many individual 140-or-fewer-character posts related to the same conversation do you just go ahead and blog about it? I suppose we should assume he's done this, as well.

So we've just accepted that Ellen "Gimme an 'A'!" Wernecke isn't the ultimate gimmick poster: the gimmick reviewer?

[inserts hashtag relating Tim Allen to Lord Flashheart instead]

Cubs win!

Henry Rollins really, really hates hipsters
…and apparently, the feeling is mutual! Do the beards tickle whilst licking your wounds?

Jorge, I should bounce you off a mini-trampoline into a pit of filthy water for that!!

"Sober" is a relative term in the world of Celebrity.

It might keep them out of the studio, but they'd still release a DVD with them skating to their own music, which would be an instant best-seller and cause your hatred to grow and fester until it bemuses you (definition #2).

I was going to go for the slow clap, but…*enthusiastic applause*