Seriously, Miller218. If I was that dude I'd probably just kill myself.

I think the season-appropriate term is "myrrhs."

I WOULD-ENT FUCK THAT NO-TAL-ENT HAG WITH MA-CON-AUGH-HEY'S DICK.

1. Fill up tub of water.
2. Dip ass into it.
3. Pour water into Jones Soda bottle.

You can make an exception - invoke the Special Occasion Rule!

Regarding Avatar:

Sunny is the funniest show on TV, for sure, but I'm surprised Curb didn't get nominated for anything as well. I'm not surprised Sunny got ignored.

I really don't understand why they don't rerun the new Venture episode of the week at least once later that week. There have been a couple of times this season where the end has been cut off, but it's the next day and too damned late to re-record it.

I, too, found a rain-soaked magazine in the woods as a lad. Seriously, this phenomenon needs further study.

I thought he wrapped it around his fist when he punched away our original sin.

We had some guest speakers at the college where I work who used to work at MTV designing those station-identification promo things. They were 21-22 years old when they worked there and their bosses were 24-25. They said the most senior people they ever met on staff were less than 30.

"More common" does not always equate with "acceptable."

You're absolutely right. Those nine-year old Malaysian girls deserve a job as much as you or I, don't they?

It was a great write-up, Zach. As much for your take on the movie as for your memories of childhood Christmas. I have grown to mostly despise this time of year (I'm trying to like it again for my kids), but I had somehow forgotten that painful sense of need and the fear of disappointment that went along with…

Obviously I've ejaculated ON TO a picture of a woman before, but I've never used my ejaculate to CREATE a picture of a woman, or anything else (besides crude, accidental Rorschach splotches).

On like black velvet or some shit? I just don't see that showing up on canvas unless you're using displaying with one of those lights they use at crime scenes.

OK, so yeah. Pot gives you the munchies. You're surrounded by succulent babies and there's nothing else to eat around the house? You do the math.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Three Amigos are both great movies that are well worth a viewing.

I'm totally with you on (most) good books, but sex? Best sex of my life was when I had traveled to a higher plane of consciousness via Hofmann's Amazing Chemical of Awesomeness.

I didn't even know he was in it, and I've seen at least a couple of ads.