This isn't going to condense into a hashtag well.

Damn it Disqus, you've reduced me to using my AV Club account. I DEMAND RESTITUTION!

Do you know how hard it was to log in to my AV Club to answer this? I really have wasted my life.

Maybe we just need a movie where Ben Affleck is a girl and also a lesbian. That solves everything, right?

It's a fantasy I go to often.

floating in zero G
like spring time cherry petals
the joy soon wears off

floating in zero G
like spring time cherry petals
the joy soon wears off

The judges were just distracted by a food smell, that's all.

The judges were just distracted by a food smell, that's all.

@avclub-9b8c140a7acbb285cf62f58512de5c4f:disqus  do you mean house centipedes?

@avclub-9b8c140a7acbb285cf62f58512de5c4f:disqus  do you mean house centipedes?

Do we get paid more if they do stuff to our butts?

Do we get paid more if they do stuff to our butts?

I liked that comment, but I'm also angry that this song will now be in my head for the rest of the day.

I liked that comment, but I'm also angry that this song will now be in my head for the rest of the day.

Would that I had more than one "like" to give.

Would that I had more than one "like" to give.

No one is going to tell yard sale stories? Fine, I'll start:
 
College roommate and I were baked off our asses and driving around looking for stupid things to do when we found a yard sale that looked like it would have been the inside of a very hip house from 1975. We tried to buy a chair shaped like a hand, but no one…

How does this not have more likes?

I feel weird admitting this, but my dad was a HUGE fan of Talking Heads and for a long time I thought This Must Be The Place was a lullaby. It still makes me feel warm and fuzzy hearing it. And a little sleepy.