Where are the classes on "intelligent falling"?

Roy Cohn?

Dude, most of "Summerteeth" was about the difficulties of your marriage.

R.I.P. Ass Dan

I'm pretty sure he spanked me on 22 non-consecutive occasions.

Yup, purposefully translated it because they're American.  For the record, here you go, the soundtrack to dorms across the USA in the mid-90s: 
http://www.youtube.com/watc…

As I was driving in the snow to work this morning, "Two Princes" came on the radio, and I was too depressed to muster the energy to change the station.

"…Ow!"

The Verve Pipe are cleaning toilets because they only had one hit with "The Freshman."  You're thinking of The Verve.

Except for the little smiley face thing on one of the lenses of his sunglasses.  That cannot stand.

Coincidence? Or CHOPPER 4!

Holy shit, another Apartment 2F fan.

First I hear of this.  Tell me, how many hobos were stabbed in the course of procuring said tickets?

I still don't get this whole vampire thing.

I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was! Now, what
I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weeeird and scary to me.

And FUCK JEMAINE

That's only because they haven't been in a proper Mr. Universe contest

But at least the grade looks like a butt taking a poop.

There have been epic Deadspin conversations on the topic of burritos.

Please conserve your ironic quotes.  They are a precious natural resource that cannot be renewed.