"The MOST blowjobs! That's why they have a drink here named after me."

The Nightly News Intros
The episode with the over-the-top nightly news intros never fails to crack me up:

Cuz ya don't mess around with God's America!

"Any cock'll doooooo!"

"I'm sorry, I have gotten way off track here. We were talking about food."

These are the party daaaaaaaays!

Can't a man not control his bitch with violence?

Court cases are decided by a series of blowjobs.

Sorry, I know I must smell pretty bad. Plus I farted.
"Did you fart? No, wait — that was me from before. Sorry."

Agreed, Totz Jr. The "Faith" cover was much more reprehensible. That was the first Limp Bizkit song I ever heard, and I instantly knew that I hated them with a fiery passion. I wouldn't have thought it would be humanly possible to actually take a George Michael song and make it worse. Kudos, Mr. Durst!

Further complicating matters, he has no info for the D.E.A.

Does anyone happen to know Herbie Verstinks?

Zinger!
"What goes around comes around. And it's DETECTIVE." [sigh] That line almost single-handedly ruined the episode for me. I would almost call it positively Seagal-ian were it not for the fact that Seagal surely would have been ranked higher than detective.

Let us not forget The World's Greatest Grandpa.

Hats Off
My hat is off, not to just to Michael Chiklis, but to so many other great actors who made the show what it was. It would have been easy to just make "The Shield" about Vic Mackey with a bunch of much less interesting characters and subplots around him. I see this concept mentioned a lot in the "Dexter"…

I actually thought the ending was shwoing that Vic was going to head out on the lam. He couldn't stomach sitting behind a desk for three years, and bailing on I.C.E. would force them to prosecute him, so he took his gun and ran. It was also the end of the work day, so he would have had a good 15 hours or so to get to…

Susie Derkins, baby.

Yippee Yo Yippee Yay
Here's how that vote-walk will go in every city:

Billings
He was only in the episode for maybe a minute, and yet he still gave me the biggest laugh of the night simply for the look he gave when overhearing Vic talking about the "Pimps 'n Hoes Party." Delightful.

Mohr Sports
Does anyone remember "Mohr Sports"? It was a half-hour talk show that Jay hosted on ESPN about five years ago. The comedy was sports-related and all of the guests were athletes. I remember it being one of the worst shows I had ever seen up to that point. And I had seen "The Secret Diary of Desmond…