Or you can skip all that and just write a song about a cheeseburger. 

I love women. Otherwise, why would I bang so many of them?

I'm sorry but the internet does not abide by reason. 

I always found Terri Schiavo and Casey Anthony's shticks to be hilarious. So hilarious, I almost DIED of laughter….

People who can stand It's a Small World let alone actually enjoy it must be criminally insane

I was simply agreeing with you on the dullness of the episode. So…

And unless you were recently infected with rabies or a hydrophobic, then drinking water is pretty uneventful

And really is there anything wrong with that?

You're probably right. Besides, I heard the producer hates Pacino. 

I've written all my feature scripts in comic sans for jut that reason. I'm surprised I haven't had any takers, they're really compelling dramas.

@avclub-f7f8eb12e0f61a9321597157c0d61791:disqus  the nerds today aren't playing with lightsabers. They're running around with quidditch sticks and chanting spells.

I thought it was a Russian accent but my that could just be my westernized upbringing reminding me that the commie's are the enemy.

Mumbling would have made the Sixth Sense much more suspenseful:

But the Bears already imploded…

I heard the climax is Batman rescuing a girl from being raped by Rothelisberger. 

I got HBO for free with my cable actually. At first, they were going to just give me Starz but I told them that if I was gonna switch providers they'd better put something better on the table.

Whoa, dude. Saying people in wheelchairs aren't allowed to masturbate? That's racist.

Did you miss seeing the teacher being arrested or the teacher having sex with one of the kids?

I don't know. If I was a Klingon and in a wheelchair but still had the ability to masturbate, I wouldn't kill myself.

Or, think inside the box and do both.