Ima palindrome!

Ima palindrome!

Did that by myself once. (My sister, the one on the right, was asleep)

Did that by myself once. (My sister, the one on the right, was asleep)

Talk about deep in your head. I was once going to meet a distant relative for the first time, all I knew was her name was Claire. I could only picture Clair Huxtable. My family is white.

Talk about deep in your head. I was once going to meet a distant relative for the first time, all I knew was her name was Claire. I could only picture Clair Huxtable. My family is white.

I was on foot.

I was on foot.

When I worked at grocery store a truck driver who was delivering to the store had an extra pallet of spaghetti-O's that he couldn't bring back to the warehouse. A literal ton of Spaghetti-Os. I gave him a phone book and suggested he find a food bank. That counts as a charitable act right?

When I worked at grocery store a truck driver who was delivering to the store had an extra pallet of spaghetti-O's that he couldn't bring back to the warehouse. A literal ton of Spaghetti-Os. I gave him a phone book and suggested he find a food bank. That counts as a charitable act right?

There's a dolop in the ashtray of my '98 crown vic you're welcome to.

There's a dolop in the ashtray of my '98 crown vic you're welcome to.

Slicin' up eyeballs?

Slicin' up eyeballs?

Some one asked me if I "have any grey poupon" about two years ago. Not even exaggerating.

Some one asked me if I "have any grey poupon" about two years ago. Not even exaggerating.

When I was about 15 my little brother rented Kids. He put it in the VCR and within a minute my comes on and sits down and watches the whole thing with us. I was so embarrassed but I didn't want to acknowledge it so I just sat perfectly still.

When I was about 15 my little brother rented Kids. He put it in the VCR and within a minute my comes on and sits down and watches the whole thing with us. I was so embarrassed but I didn't want to acknowledge it so I just sat perfectly still.

Your (video) watchdog killed my cat (fancy)

Your (video) watchdog killed my cat (fancy)