Mandatory Circumcision?!
The New World Order can take my freedom, but they'll never have my foreskin!

You said it, Hogan!

The nipples of Mother Hope have run dry.

If I had a choice between a cure for cancer or Dane Cook being viciously beaten to death, I'd cheerfully accept my fast-approaching end…

Jewbacca!

So, to sum up his answers…
"I don't know."

Canceritos.

Mi hermano nacio con su corazon fuera de su cuerpo…

If someone were to invent a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends, I'd imagine it would look an awful lot like a giant cheeto…

Cock-snot.

The first time I saw Van Wilder, we were eating. We'd gone to a Mexican fast food place. I was drinking Horchata when the eclair scene came up…