You are a hugely fat family? I'm kind of impressed.

I'm a failure! A failure! I start to dial, but I never call anyone back… You should see my car! It's a mess. I'm a mess! I go to the submarine sandwich restaurant and I leave my submarine sandwich restaurant value card at home every time! All I want is a free sandwich…

My boss is sending me to Utica, NY for work on Friday and Saturday. I live in New Hampshire.

It isn't smoke, it's vapor. It's supposed to be healthier for you.

Because you touch yourself at night.

How does one get their hands on a region-free Blu-Ray player? Or is there a way to disable the region coding like there was on DVD players? Help a brother out, the UK just got an awesome Time Bandits Blu-Ray and I want that!

That's silly. Calzones are just pizza that's harder to eat!

I wanted to ask if the game was worth playing. The screenshots looked kinda crumby. Guess I'll be saving that sweet, sweet PSN cash for something else.

Boom, nailed it!

"Also if they eat meat in a film an animal was harmed to make the film."

Then he dug up its grave and built a cage with its bones.

If anybody needs me, I'll be in my Sadness Dome.

Nothing beats a coke habit like a foot in the ass!

What would be really nice is a place that keeps the rich people who aspire to be poor the fuck out of the Goodwill stores that I frequent.

All the malls in my area seem remarkably popular still. I think it has something to do with me being near the border of Massachusetts, so people drive up here to dodge sales taxes. That's the only way I can rationalize their resilience.

I used to have a roommate who was a conspiracy nut. Days after the Boston bombings occurred, he came up to me babbling about how it was a false flag operation.

Worst Monday Night Football matchup of the year? Possibly. One overhyped QB who hasn't proven himself, another hobbled by an inept coaching staff.

- Who?

He's up in Maine. I live in New Hampshire, close enough to the Massachusetts border where the nearest real city is only about an hour and a half drive away.

Yes!