If a monkey is wearing people clothes, it's OK to give him a beer or hard cider. I think that we all understand that unwritten rule.

I've been avoiding Fallon because of his normalizing of Trump, but I like Hugh Jackman, and saw that he was on the other day, playing "The Whisper Game" or some shit, where Hugh Jackman put on headphones and had to figure out what Jimmy Fallon was saying - in this case, "Buttermilk Biscuits". Well, if buttermilk…

Professor X has the power to control minds, manipulate the reality of others, as well as get a really wicked buzz on.

There are few things more enjoyable than watching a bunch of wild animals get off-their-asses drunk off of fermented fruit. Especially monkeys. I wouldn't give a monkey a beer, but if he's going to get himself drunk, I'll watch that all damn day.

Oh yeah - I watch Colbert and Seth Myers highlights in the morning on YouTube - it's pretty handy for picking out the highlights. Also, Sam Bee's show is posted the same night that it airs.

That's some craziness, right there.

I use YouTube for watching CNN and movie trailers. And MST3K. And old episodes of the Tick. And Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.

I had a hard time reading that article. Is it just me, or does it seem to have been written in the midst of a coke jag?

Or, you could look at her non-reaction, think about the accusations against Affleck, and draw your own conclusions from there. But I guess being an obstinate asshole is another way to go.

Race plays a huge factor in this. Both handled the accusations shittily, but only one was 'blacklisted' from awards as a result.

I'm trying to imagine the affect of one sexual assault accusation on my career, let alone several. Is Casey Affleck really that much of a box-office draw that Hollywood needs to keep casting him? I'm reasonably sure that most people share my view that he's kind of a creepy asshole.

They've updated the story for modern times. In this one, King Kong is shy and nervous, and the Faye Wray type is the aggressor, using increasingly ludicrous plots in order to trick the ape into falling for her.

He did the eyebrow glower, but if there was ever an occasion for The People's Eyebrow, this was it.

But what I do have are night school lessons where I'm learning a very particular set of
skills; skills I will develop over a very long career. Skills that will eventually be a nightmare for people like you. If you supersize my meal for free, that'll be the end of it.

H.W. was a bit of an uptick in respectability from Reagan and at least appeared to hold himself to a standard of accountability. But Republican leaders have been shitshows for my lifetime.

It's pretty stunning to me that I can now look back at George Bush as cute and harmless, especially when I remember the existential angst I felt at his inauguration (which I watched in L.A., while the bus from Swordfish was suspended outside my hotel window from a helicopter). But I look at the pictures of him trying…

I'll say it again. Everything we're watching now are the series finales of everything. It's the last time we're going to be seeing any of these shows, so they're going all out with the drama and twists to make them extra memorable.

I'm looking forward to this one quite a bit - the first was just a joy to play. To be honest, the nemesis system wasn't that big a deal, but I did enjoy manipulating people into positions of power just so I could destroy them.

Press "A" to make a pointed comment about Nizememoor's tacky war trophies.

Man #4 in Pulp Fiction was a career defining role.