I am alarmed to hear how many AVC-ers live in Denver. Maybe I should head back east, where the density of hipster douchebags will surely be much lower…

You'll have to subsist on the Hater. Does hate approximate buzzkill?

How much you wanna bet he's got FOUR TOES?

CASIMIR EFFECT TIME WARP CLONES!

He
Vas
My
BOYFRIEND!

In what way is James a Hebrew name, Evel? Get your Testaments straight, dude. And your testicles and vestaments, while we're at it.

Boi, seriously?

But did he say the magic word first?

Except for the parts harboring Commies like you, Sanchez!

You have to put them in the vibrating anal plug _first_, King.

Oh what fun
It is to vote
For a qualified, intelligent, charismatic African-American Democratic candidate in a presidential primaryyyy!

Is Mr. Myers involved with the upcoming Horton Hears A Who? 'Cause if that's the case, I shan't forgive one iota of his previous Seussenings.

Thank you, Mr. Cetera!
J'amuse.

yawn…
Hmph.

I did
… but only ironically (natch).

That's the problem, though: Coach and Coach's Wife _are_ fantastic, but I really can't bring myself to care about the ridiculously beautiful and excessively mature "students" and their soapy dramas.

Your point is absolutely correct, but this doesn't diminish its usefulness as a steering-wheel thumper when you're bored in traffic.

Don't wanna work, just wanna bang
… on the drum all day!

Ooh—Would the Monarch try to capture the Steel Magnolia as a gift for Dr. Girlfriend, and then feel threatened by the strong feelings of sisterhood which ensued from the pairing?

Who knew dazed slumber was funny enough to qualify as a nostril-soda rapist?
I'd suggest a neti pot douche, but those things really just put me in mind of a sad, abused bit of china from a little kid's tea set: "Daddy, why are you sticking Princess Sparkle's teapot up your nose?" *gurgle* "Hang on, baby, just one sinus…