Waldorf, why would you even try to compete with me for her affection? You're married to Astoria!

Valerie and I could have had a happy life together, if only she could stomach meat!

You shouldn't get the wrong idea about me and Barrymore! It was okay- he was wearing a dress!

A Muppet Show with the Muppets! Oh! Ho! Ho!

There's only one thing scarier than a Muppet Show with Vincent Price!

She's the only guest star we've had who looks less realistic than we do!

Didn't you go to grade school with Phyllis Diller, Waldorf?

After you!

Like being born?

Darn it! I was sure I would get to post before everyone else this time!

George Carlin, Jack Burns, Fozzie Bear- that Avery Schreiber went through partners like you go through hearing aid batteries!

Hey Waldorf, how come Ben vereen didn't do one of his hits from Pippin?

Avery Schreiber finally found something cheesier than Doritos when he came on The Muppet Show!

You mean you knew Edgar?

I love that Candice Bergen!

Doh! ho! Ho! Ho!

You know, Sandy Duncan is most famous for playing a character who never gets old!

It didn't work yesterday!

Waldorf, turn on your hearing aid!

IT'S HARD FOR ME…