I recall actually crying at the end of Lisa the Tree Hugger from how stupid and awful "This Log is Your Log" was.

My go to text to my friends when I'm drunk is "Pray for mojo" or "can't fix the car without a whole lotta milka"

"When the President says it, that means that it is not illegal"

Am I the only one who when he flips to the comics page has to hold his hand over the Family Circus to keep it from ruining his day?

Karl Malden for AMEX Traveller's cheques

I've got the "there's a very effective heckler in the audience blues"

We're all aware that Sheldon and Amy are going to get back together, this show seems content to spin the wheels for a year before it happens, maybe then they will break up Penny and Leonard for a year, or do Howard and Bernie, we could get another 3 years of melancholy comedy from it.

You go! The beard stays…. the beard stays…

That's because you were Irish

And that he listed all the Ayatollahs

Plus Parker Young wasn't too hard on the ol' peepers

Earl Warren was not a stripper

I love the Khrushchev reference of Skinner banging his shoe to regain order of the model UN

The increasingly poor decisions of david schwimmer?

Oh Peach Drink, that's Robin's territory, or bad cafeteria

Grr, all I ask from current Simpsons is one laugh, just one. I consider it an episode a success if they can get one laugh. This episode completely failed. I'm glad I kept Bob's, Rick and Morty, Brooklyn 99, and the McLaughlin Report to give me some laughs tonight

I told you, I'll file all my time on the last day of the month 30 minutes before the bills are prepared.

What kids today are craving is more discussions about M.A.S.H. you know it's on right now

we also would have accepted "abandoned toupee factory"

You went back to the carpet store after beating cancer