The 13th amendment reads: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."

Yeah one plus side is that while I will turn 40 before this term is up, I'll get to live many lifetimes before that happens.

Chappelle wasn't wrong. Trump had his chance, he just managed to engage in like five Watergate-level scandals in the first four months. There's some alternate universe where he acted like a grown-up and listened to his handlers, and he's merely a Bad Republican president.

I like where you're heading but it'll probably work better if you're not a dude.

My issue was that every nearly character in the movie, despite presenting as a murdering badass, gets the exact same Fonzie-kisses-a-baby character beat, where they drop the tough act and reveal the cuddly Muppet underneath.

Nope — everyone with taste is enjoying the emperor's new outfit, and you're just too unsophisticated to appreciate it.

But the best parts of the original series involve all of the Bluths being in one room and bouncing off each other, and this almost never happens in Season 4. If they couldn't arrange the actors' schedules so they could all be together, they just shouldn't have made it.

The issue was that Sherilyn Fenn was about 25 when she filmed the original series, but she was playing a high school student, and Cooper is supposed to be about 30. Audiences liked their chemistry and it didn't look weird on camera because they were age-appropriate in real life, but upstanding FBI agents don't go…

Yes, except they unfortunately add another syllable to "Ni".

You're the kind of person who'd be annoyed that you didn't get to see the end of Our American Cousin after Lincoln was shot.

Kim is totally going to wind up disbarred as a result of Jimmy's actions.

They're going to be just fine with it, I guess, because we know that Jimmy is still practicing law as Saul Goodman a few years later.

Jimmy flying in Rebecca was some Godfather II-level scheming. I think this is where he really becomes Saul.

We're almost certainly going to find out that Deckard was the first Nexus-7 replicant — no set lifespan, at the expense of being much physically weaker than his predecessors.

It's a new Blade Runner movie! If the original isn't a religious text to you, that's cool, but then I'm not sure why you clicked the link.

So what was the point of spending that much time on Melissa's mental illness when they just skipped ahead six months and had her completely go back to normal?

To be fair, getting paid millions of dollars to sit through boring meetings in an air conditioned office is not entirely unlike being forced to pick cotton in the hot sun for no pay under the constant threat of rape and murder.

Shakespeare.

One of the sadder, unexplored implications of Trump's victory is that it kind of proves humans will never invent time travel into the past.

I never clicked on the link either, but I'm assuming a few hundred people on this board did click it and have therefore dated Natalie Dormer — what's the secret?