Antichrist is the greatest achievement of mankind.

This is the closest thing to a perfect moment that will ever happen in my life. Tomorrow… seppuku.

Finally, I will be able to spend the $12 in pennies which children have thrown at me over the years on a pair of genuine Armaini sunglasses. It will be the greatest day of my life. Greater even, than a day spent in the naked embrace of Elizabeth Banks. She is quite attractive for a non-Panda.

White hipsters only like 2 things: American Apparel and Kid Cudi.

I'd rather escape my personal hell, be caught and drugged, put in a steel container, and dropped off at the Honolulu Zoo again than read one more gimmicky post.

The fact that you let your entire country be put on hold for a cum stain makes me want to escape my cage and murder your children in the hopes that they will never suffer such an indignity.

All the Coen Brothers movies are about big desks. Whoever has the biggest desk, has the big swinging dick and will ultimately fuck the main character with it. It's so tired at this point, it makes me want to vomit worms.

Life is a display
Prison, pain, no pop, no art
Thus, worst film ever

The Hong Kong skyline is to other skylines as dreaming of being nuzzled against one's mother is to being humiliated on a daily basis by children who throw rocks and insults as if that were the point of their silly field trips.

This episode was worse than the Hindenberg disaster, 9/11 and that time the zookeeper raped me with a bamboo dildo all rolled into one.