Distracting toddlers.

GAIR-adj

No one else was willing to take on the widespread school bear-mauling problem.

They're trash that is horrifyingly white? Sure, the guy looks pretty pasty, but I'd say the chick is more distressingly pink than horrifyingly white.

The majority of the "prank" genre consists of not-pranks. Stepping on someone's new shoes and/or calling them a racial slur isn't a prank.
Convincing a third party to step on someone's shoes and/or call them a racial slur, then filming said third party getting beat on, would technically be a prank. Too much work for…

Did he accuse the teacher of being sans nipples?

Obviously you need Miz's acting chops to pull off the "Rotten kids, you work your life out" scene.

He tore them trying to slide into the ring.
https://youtu.be/4QLe_tAQ2R…
The Mr. McMahon walk would at worst result in pulled hamstrings.

"On the main roster, I think they've both peaked"
You may be right, but if you are, I still think the reason is that they've been misused. Babyface Sasha isn't best Sasha (this is partly fans' fault), and Bayley really only has the one character (she's really good at that character though) and WWE took that character…

"Your" lulled me into a false sense of complacency regarding "ou"

Being worse on the mic than Alexa Bliss isn't necessarily an insult.

"Kalisto cool new gear"
I'm sorry, what?

WWE ruined Bayley by putting the title on her way, way too soon. I think Vince McMahon thinks the word "underdog" means the opposite of what it actually means.

You used the British spelling of "defense." I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Blood for the Blood God

disembowelment doesn't care if you're already dead or not

You're the expert.

God damn it, I just watched a video of a dog being reunited with its owner who'd been hospitalized for months, and now this, especially the part about the memorial. I'M NOT CRYING, THERE'S JUST A DUST STORM IN MY APARTMENT RIGHT NOW

"Is he a ghost or the reified collective spirit of AVC?"
He can be . . .
TWO THINGS

The first time I read Blood Meridian was as the start of a self-planned summer reading program. I never read any of the other stuff because it was a while after before I could read anything.