I offer up a chessboard, with the following instructions: place one dick on the first square, two dicks on the second, four dicks on the third, and so on. At the end of the chessboard, consume all proffered dicks.

THESE NAILS AINT SHIT

"Morgan Freeman is a wise old man. LISTEN TO HIM!!!!!"

Hell, when I first played this, my absolute first command was "shit pants."

"tyler perry's curtis"

One of my favorite "over the heads of our audience" references was on the episode of Animaniacs where they introduced a team of crime-fighting famous writers. One of the villains was Sappho, introduced by Yakko with "she didn't care much for boys." Sure it's cheap, but for a kid's show, it was pretty good.

I didn't even try to talk Nadsat after reading this, it just happened. At least I wasn't laying it on as thick as the book did.

I've got it! A remake of "Moving," with Jaden Smith playing the twins and Will playing Richard Pryor's role! What better way to bring in the second decade of the Willennium?

Manhattanville College famous alumni GO: Rose Kennedy, Eunice Kennedy Shriver. That's all we've got.

How 'bout I give you $75 and you give me Tool farting into a mic?

"And now, please welcome our twelve-time returning champion, Anthony Bourdain!"

Goddamn, did I hate the Sasquatch bit. Big ups for "Master Exploder," though.

I'm not a big theatergoer, so I don't have any alone stories. I did, however, see "Bulworth" in a theater in Buffalo with about a dozen people, and they wouldn't play the movie unless at least a dozen people came. Glad that it was at least worth it to watch in the theater (though not by all that much).

The biggest benefit to watching that, for me, was getting in good (or better, anyway) with my 12- and 13-year-old stepsons, who LOVED it. It was an innocent little thing with some pretty funny moments, but it DID feel pretty damn padded.

"I was nailing cocktail waitresses two at a time, nerds."

21st Century Schizoid Man

Adam Shank-Man!

…and in the Russian Twilight Zone, you hit the pinball flippers, but your every move is being watched from afar by aliens.

Never mind, got them both. My strategy for 30 was correct. In fact, all I needed was one 5-point ball and a remote explosive, so my 30 score is 309, and for 17, I just threw 5-point green blocks until enough went over for 110 points (exactly 110, in fact), then froze to keep the red from going over.

@Bill Reed: "I totally perfed Blosics 2, though. It… took a while."