Dude, if you don't know how meatball subs exploit the whole of Africa simultaneously, I'm sure as hell not going to tell you.

Maybe I'm remembering this imperfectly, but didn't Coolio once get arrested in Germany for stealing a pair of socks? And if so, THIS is when he slides into self-parody?

There are probably thousands of Germans and/or Jews looking for a piece of Pete Doherty by now. Let's hope they get a piece not swimming in black tar.

Is that on tonight? I think it's right before "How Julian, the Flatulent Sea Alga, Saved Kwanzaa."

Also, "straight" doesn't look like a word anymore.

"Also, there's a solid statistical chance now that they've given birth to at least two homosexual arrows for satan's quiver, too."

"…and eventually, they were rescued by, oh, let's say… Keith Sweat."

Point of order: Sarah Palin.

Wait a minute… why don't we just stick garlic in Jesus's side-wounds?

Kerry King's best solo
No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn, and no one has mentioned it. You people fucking disgust me.

Seconded on the Hot Fuzz love.

"Nothing says 'I love you' like a lump of carbon mined by wage slaves in Angola!"

RagingBear, your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I agree, TimC, but it was nothing like the 1870s. Never pass up the chance to play Grand Theft Auto: Flatland, especially the part where your line goes crazy, spears a citizen and has to be euthanized.

"FFXII… plays itself"

Arsenio, are you saying that Tyra's the slow girl on the Fry-O-Later?

"She likes them thick, 9" long, cut"

What's this about Ethel Merman?

Especially when Oprah was full of the real…

*fists on hips* Oh Necrobutcher! You're always sucking fat dicks!