It WOULD fill out my Bingo card…

The awards will be made with toilet bowl cleaner and the sulfur scrapings from several confiscated matches. Just like the lube!

The former choice was my intention, but now that I see the other choice, both.

I think her father did that plenty.

Oh. My. God.

Hey, I'm just now coming to terms with the idea that we're supposed to give a fuck about the annoying one on "One Day at a Time." Baby steps, please?

I would watch a video of her punching herself in the nose. Compulsively.

"Even better: she's a 16 year old who's pledged to stay a virgin until she's married."

I move my head like Michael J. Fox… well, anywhere, really.

Jojo… that's a name I haven't heard in a while.

Or a suicidal ice elemental.

I prefer a nice dong gelee, myself.

I guarantee you she has a metric shit-ton of Cathy comics on her fridge.

"Maximize your firebreath."
Good advice for life, AND for Super Smash Bros.! Thanks, gurufriendsTM!

"ARE YOU A GAYHOMOFAG? EAT THIS, BITCH! IT'LL STRAIGHTEN YOU OUT MORE THAN ELEVEN INCHES UP YOUR TAILPIPE!"

"Alicia uses Handjob Tease. Critical hit! +1311 HP (Humiliation Points)"

As much as I liked "Sports Night," I've always hated that Everest clip, especially the "Look what we can do" bit. You're gonna show a homeless person watching one of the richest of rich man's sports as an example of humanity's capabilities? Really?

"And now, for a magic trick, I will make this jug disappear."

Delis 'round my way sell a sub with chicken cutlet, bacon, Jack cheese (though I substitute Muenster), lettuce, tomato and mayo (I substitute honey mustard). It's marvelous, but just don't plan to get up for a while.

Can we still hate on Beyonce?
1) First of all, what did you expect Beyonce to do? That was a softball Not-An-AssholeTM moment, nothing more.