Groundhog assholes? Is it like, if they shit on their shadow, we get 6 more weeks of winter, or something?

I find this post…
…exceptionally disturbing.

…wrrrwrrr, sayn!

King of Donair, know'm sayn…

No worries homes.

One word for drunken pizza inhaling: Gumby's. If you have to ask, you'll never know.

I think I would choose to finish out my miserable life on dull, old, flawed, Earth, rather than be savaged by a trio of supernatural beings.

Do you mean that my spirited blaspheming is going to cause me some problems with heavenly admission at the time of Armageddon, or do you mean, more literally, that it would hurt to be simultaneously speared by the aforementioned deities (or multiple aspects of the same deity, whatever you want to call it)?

Fair enough. My noob-ness has been fully exposed!

No, no, I meant exactly what you said! Your logic was flawless, and being an extremely logical person, I agreed with it completely.

Yes, idiotking, I can imagine it is relentlessly obnoxious to be cock-blocked by someone who has no actual, legitimate sexual interest in the object of your cock-pursuit. Weak sauce, homie.

There was some article in GQ or some such about pre-teen girls being into the vampire stuff because of some sort of fantasy of going out with a gay man. Something about being non-threatening and such, like you said, Harbinger. I didn't actually read said article, though, so I could be totally full of shit.

Robuttnik: Ma$e was probably the guy that put Ryan on to his #1 influence, God. THAT motherfucker has swagger for days! SHIT!

How about 'beholden to a debilitating boot fetish'?

"lust appears no different from hunger in the digestive tract"

Mr. Penis

Fuck the drive thru. I'm gonna park the car, walk the six-to-ten steps to the door, and then walk BACK when I'm done eating! Exercise AND some super nutritious food-like substance. I'm gonna be svelte as fuck!

My Lord and Savior, are you implying that you wish to participate? If so, I've got a great idea for a title (I was planning to film the goings on, and release it without Ms. Lopez's knowledge). It's trinity-themed:

She packin' a bit too much heat in that thar unitard to be giving any kind of lady parts monologue, if you know what I mean.

I gave her money so I could watch some guys run train on her, mildly.