He had to go from both ends.

I'm a little bit ascared of pluppets.

What's the deal with airplane food?!

I would argue that the second one is more batshit.  There's a toddler called "The Big Kahuna" who acts like King of the Babies.  It was definitely more surreal in its awfulness.

I remember when it was faster to find naked ladies by sneaking into your dad's closet or taping Skinemax.  I remember being at a friend's house and waiting for our first glimpse of internet pornography to slowly download over his 18k modem.  It was a grainy .bmp of some chick with big tits that took an hour to finish.…

I had the same reaction back then.  I overthought it, and my mind immediately went to "holy fuck!  That wasn't muscle memory!  That fucker was alive in there this whole time?! Slowly being melted by digestive acids without being able to move his limbs or scream?!  Jesus!"  It really fucked with me.

That macro turned me around, Cookie.  That was me that burned Oscar alive after starting a fire in his trash can yesterday.  We had to keep warm after Grover banned generators and tents.

Yea, but then explain The Haunting.  Well, go on, explain it.

Well, no, it doesn't "require" those things exactly.  They're ideal, I suppose.  But then how would we come together as a nation to mock and deride these 1 percenters if they weren't constantly putting their feet in their mouths.  If anything, we should encourage and applaud them..

A Tale Of Two Tweets.

Sigh, the era of finally hearing the bizarre, ignorant, ridiculous inner thoughts of our most loathed celebrities may finally be at an end.  Now every celebrity twitter is going to be a bunch of banal plugs for their terrible Tv shows and movies instead of the racist/sexist/homophobic/otherwise offensive ramblings we…

These virgins are way worse than the Star Wars virgins.  At least the Star Wars virgins were guided by the hope that maybe some of the magic from the originals would come back, even for a moment.  Twilight was always shit from the moment it was conceived.

I guess because it's something popular to be a part of and share.  That's nice and all, but couldn't they pick something that isn't so unbelievably shitty to unite behind?

War-wilf.

Yea, well, the trailer has already been pulled from Youtube.  That took, what, an hour?  This is going to be a disaster.

No, not for a second.  I knew Tower Heist was PG-13 before I even knew Murphy was in it.  Then I heard all his bullshit about only being in "edgier" stuff, even with this 1000 Words disaster always looming around the corner.

Serious question: is she really still on meth or is that just a rumour that we're all now treating as fact?  Wouldn't her (admittedly incompetent) handlers have noticed something like that?

I think your gimmick's too obscure, Hector.  But at least this time it fits.

This is who it's going to be.  I'd put money on it.

The MTV Movie Awards will be played by Will Smith in an adaptation of the popular comic book character.