Excelsior, pig fuckers!

FlavaBurga. Flav defrosts every patty personally. You don't want to know any more than that.

WE GOT ONE!!!!

No. No, that will never be the case.

In a stroke of casting genius, Keanu Reeves will actually agree to star.

Who are these people who don't smoke pot or like bacon that your comment implicitly posits exist?

Seconded. Suggested possible alternative: Jerry Bruckheimer movies. Con Air especially.

Look, I've had this conversation before. Strictly speaking every serialized drama is a soap opera if you broaden your definition sufficiently. Mad Men is a soap opera. Breaking Bad is a soap opera. Sons of Anarchy is a soap opera. But only people who've never actually sat down and watched a soap opera think this…

Wait, can you even get it up on Rohypnol? CNS depressant, muscle relaxant; I would think if you had enough so you didn't know what the fuck was going on the equipment would be pretty much non-responsive. Then again we are talking about a guy who would have been way, way backed up …

We all wind up drowned in or own shit sooner or later. You, me, Eddie Hazel, fucking everybody.

"Because I can, ahhight? Don't you fahkin tell me you wouldn't if ya could. Say hi to ya mothah fah me."

It's the "History" Channel now.

He wakes up to blow jobs from stunningly beautiful women and after his pre-shower shit he wipes his ass with hundred dollar bills. Of course he feels good when he wakes up in the morning.

Angry, angry young man.

Eh. Tom Arnold pulled it off.

[Dan Van Kirk frenziedly scribbles notes]

"It was the 3rd of December …"

Saw the U.S. version, but apparently it's pretty much a shot-for-shot line-for-line remake. Michael Haneke is a sick fuck, but I admire his commitment. And yes, that movie would make the producers of this show shit themselves in terror and confusion.

Now that would be a real coup. He could guest star alongside Roky Erikson, Brian Wilson and the reanimated corpse of Syd Barrett.

Yeah, but he lost that race …