Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
And then the murders began.

In the not-too-distant future, next Sunday, A.D., there was a guy named Joel, not too different from you or me. And then the murders began.

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of…

What you seem to be saying is, someone who uses racist language should not be the president. Am I understanding you correctly?

It's a conspiracy!

If he is removed from office, Pence will pardon him.

BUT HER EMAILS

Trumpian

They had eight years to come up with a replacement plan. Surely after eight years, they have produced something extraordinary. I wonder why it wasn't unveiled the moment Trump took office?

We're on a tear.

It's hard for me to absorb this news.

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
STRENGTH HAS NO GENDER

Nope. You sound like an acquaintance of mine in the same line of work who is struggling with similar goings-on.

did you convince anyone?

There was a time, not long ago, when this band was not ridiculous.

Do I know you?

Shame on Kimmel for fawning over this monstrous war criminal. In a better world, George W. Bush would be in prison today.

Because of the right-wing's blindingly insane hatred of Hillary Clinton.

I have a feeling they are just going to re-brand it as "Trumpcare" and declare victory.

Some amusing anagrams for "inverted pork rectums":