I'm suing the makers of this movie for stealing their title from my screenplay. Cross-examining Queen Latifah won't be easy, but I'm up for the challenge.

OBJECTION!
There is a clear contradiction here! Nick Cannon claims to understand teenagers, but he was born in 1980. Obviously, he is no teenager!

TAKE THAT!
This seems like a good enough excuse for me to bring my shtick back to the AV Club comment sections.

HOLD IT!
Bret Michaels is not guilty of any crime! He simply waited to acknowledge the crowd…after everyone had left…what an egotistical douchebag…