Asthma + unfiltered carcinogenic marijuana smoke in the lungs = early death?

Do you know for a FACT that his daughter isn't really a selfish little pig pain in the ass? Considering who her parents are, I'd say there's about an 89% chance that she's a bitch.

What's even sadder is that she's still alive and fully conscious.

Ooooo! I've got it:

It wasn't just good, it was great. Great enough to earn her some sort of lifetime comedic achievement award, by God.

Shoulda been Baltimore. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

Hottest saint ever:

Rabelais and Hunter S. Thompson Meet Montezuma and the Lizard People

John Brown rides Moby Dick to Victory at Normandy!

Mark Wahlberg is: THOMAS PAIN

They need to get Ridley Scott to direct this. No one fucks history in the ass like Sir Ridley.

"First God created idiots. That was just for practice. Then he created school-boards."

I'm actually related to Riel on my mother's side.

Radiated and oiled, but don't worry: it's not the bad radiation.

In these modern waters, all krill is expired krill.

Wrong, Jesus.

BOOM! Racist!

Jillian Michaels.

HBO wants to fuck its mother because of the ducks.

I thought Mr. & Mrs. Wasikowska (see what I did there?) created The Matrix.