The monster at the end of this book is… my puppeteer, skeeving around with his pants off in a windowless Elmo van to pick up tween boys with absentee dads.

You're not! Someone else above you thought the same thing. You two should meet up and talk shop.

i need to Instapaper this list somehow

JFK has a new album? i'm on it. Grayskul's beats tend to be pretty boring too - they need to team up with a producer who throws in an extra snare now and then. Actually, if Onry could bring Zavala's beats from Dark Time Sunshine over to Grayskul, these guys would be fire.

It is, and it's as awesome as he says:

Whenever i see Sadistik, this is the image that springs immediately to mind:

Booooo, ethics, no wonder he's poor. Can't make an omelette without breaking a few kids' wrists.

C'mon you guys, Serengeti is seriously awesome. (Okay, granted, the clip doesn't really showcase him that well, it's more of an interstitial trailer thing.)

Give us hell, Quimby!

Old King Cole was packing some pipe for Old Mother Hubbard! Oh!

The Onion AP Club? Never heard of it. Certainly doesn't sound like the future training ground of an elite vampire-assassination squad.

^ Potential Hitler

* * * Pitchfork Headlines of the Day * * *

A!

I Will Always Glove You
You've Lost That Glovin' Feeling
I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Gloves Me)
Cold Beverages by G-Glove and the Special Sauce

"That is great, I see how you're putting my name into the title of a popular musical song of the radio. Absolutely terrific, ha ha." - Former Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney

(Not actually my idea, i just wanted to shoehorn in a good word for We Hate Movies because they're the best. Here's where Lazy Se7en came from, they're much funnier. http://www.whmpodcast.com/2… )

What's in the boooooxxx?

Something something Al Roker

"The case of the missing invisible chocolate bunny is solved!"