Now imagine this pitcher of iced tea is really a gallon of your feces.

James Earl Jones is Oscarless?

I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do.

I'd rather leave it to the professionals; this movie looks like it would lend itself perfectly to the Rifftrax treatment.

What Anne really needs to rebuild her confidence
is a man to constantly tell her how beautiful she is. A 'Confidence Man' if you will. I wonder why she's never thought of this.

Well, I hope Neil Young will remember, A Smurfin Man don't need him around anyhow.

I was making fun of hipsters
before it was cool.

I'm pretty sure it was Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu.

I'm not sure who's playing Robert, but I hear it has a pretty star-studded cast.

The call is coming from inside the car!

"I Love Rock 'n' Roll"

CW, I think I've got a shot. We've already gone out alone to dinner, the movies, even Dave & Buster's. That's gotta mean something, right?

Sure as the stars above I'd really like to fuck her. I might not want the donut, but I wouldn't mind getting the hole.

Don Juan: Canto The Fifth, verse LXIV
At last they reached a quarter most retired,
Where Echo woke as if from a long slumber;
Though full of all things which could be desired,
One wondered what to do with such a number

I think the best part is how apparently none of them can remember the one line they get in the song without reading it. I'm almost surprised Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder weren't waiving those sheets around too.

Plus her show is called Playing With Micucci.

I'm like a workaholic, but for booze.

I also thought Kate Micucci was good on Scrubs. Garfunkel & Oates has some really funny songs too.

Gateways To Freakery

I always thought
She was the result of a circus clown and a five year old who'd just discovered makeup both getting caught in that machine from The Fly.