Please do try to control yourself, good sir.  There is a lady present, and all of this….whipping…is presently aggravating my vapors.

Not so fast, @avclub-d7b683529752a4d24d84c4941861a363:disqus !  She's an imposter, and I have the DNA records to prove it!

All proceeds will go toward getting Mr. Harmon a shower and a clean shirt.

I solve mysteries in a timely fashion because I wear comfortable clothing to control my ample bosum.  That strange girl from NCIS would do well to spend a little less time dressing like a trollop and more time focusing on her work. All that leather is simply distracting and I would have no part of it in my…

Call it whatever you like, Sugar, costumes still cost an extra 20 quid.

I will have you know, good sir, that I have recently been to my primary care physician and been given a clean bill of health.  You may call me many things, but I am a professional, and I will not stand for any further besmirching of my reputation.  Good day.

I've never heard of Tyler Perry's Downton Abbey, but he better hurry up with Tyler Perry's Money, because Downtown Abby's Madam is getting a little tired of Tyler Perry's Shit.

I've never heard of Tyler Perry's Downton Abbey, but he better hurry up with Tyler Perry's Money, because Downtown Abby's Madam is getting a little tired of Tyler Perry's Shit.

I'll stick around as long as you like, Sugarplum, but don't expect any discounts just cause you're with the help.  Those X-ray Technician certificates don't pay for themselves.

I'll stick around as long as you like, Sugarplum, but don't expect any discounts just cause you're with the help.  Those X-ray Technician certificates don't pay for themselves.

Suburban Astrid is a two bit hooker turning tricks for skee ball tickets under the promenade, and I'll not be seen in the same sentence as that trollop, Good Sir!  Downtown Abby is a lady, and I expect to be treated as such.

Suburban Astrid is a two bit hooker turning tricks for skee ball tickets under the promenade, and I'll not be seen in the same sentence as that trollop, Good Sir!  Downtown Abby is a lady, and I expect to be treated as such.

I will confess that it was I, Downtown Abby, that stole Rowan Kaiser's heart.  I'm keeping it in hock until he pays me the extra $150 he owes me for the overnight.  He CLAIMS the elevator was stuck all by itself, but Downtown Abby's been around the block a few times.

I will confess that it was I, Downtown Abby, that stole Rowan Kaiser's heart.  I'm keeping it in hock until he pays me the extra $150 he owes me for the overnight.  He CLAIMS the elevator was stuck all by itself, but Downtown Abby's been around the block a few times.

If this was Star Trek, we'd have some long pointless argument about Cardassian Transporter technology advancements during the Bajorian Wars, and how they were able to correct the flaw concerning transporting symbiotic lifeforms.  Or how the Warp Speed Limit was a knee jerk reaction in response to a tragic event, and…

If this was Star Trek, we'd have some long pointless argument about Cardassian Transporter technology advancements during the Bajorian Wars, and how they were able to correct the flaw concerning transporting symbiotic lifeforms.  Or how the Warp Speed Limit was a knee jerk reaction in response to a tragic event, and…

This is standard Doctor Who storytelling.  More often than not, the big twist reveal at the end of an episode is The Doctor explaining why something happened using facts that, up until that point, simply didn't exist.  Those facts are rarely referred to again, and in many cases, contradicted. Doctor Who is unique in…

This is standard Doctor Who storytelling.  More often than not, the big twist reveal at the end of an episode is The Doctor explaining why something happened using facts that, up until that point, simply didn't exist.  Those facts are rarely referred to again, and in many cases, contradicted. Doctor Who is unique in…

I live in California, and I always thought that we were on the cutting edge of overtaxing cigarettes.  Then, on a 4 state road trip I went on last year, I learned that we still get them pretty cheap.  I paid 8 bucks in Oregon for something that would have cost me 5 in Cali. 

I live in California, and I always thought that we were on the cutting edge of overtaxing cigarettes.  Then, on a 4 state road trip I went on last year, I learned that we still get them pretty cheap.  I paid 8 bucks in Oregon for something that would have cost me 5 in Cali.