A problem I have is thinking of an affordable Christmas gift for my nephew that has any chance of standing out from all the other stuff he gets from his parents. It's futile, I tell you.

The day I went to the grocery and realized I could pretty much buy anything I wanted…straight-up Highlander quickening right there.

Moe's has to be a genuine dive, or no dice.

May's hatred for singing competitions must have started when he was a mentor on American Idol for Queen week. He got rightly prickly when a contestant wanted to rearrange a Queen song to better fit his (the contestant's) pathetic voice. "You can't rearrange a song I wrote," May snapped to the kid.

After listening to Thomas Dolby's MJ story on the Moth, I had to sit quietly for a few minutes as a tidal wave of "whoa" washed over me.
http://www.podcasts.com/the…

Frank: Yeah, those were the days.
Sweet Dee: What do you mean by that?
Frank: I was just saying, "those were the days".
Sweet Dee: You sound nostalgic for those days.

Those would be the best steps (and the easiest, really!), but then we would be assuming they actually had empathy for those they hurt or offended. And how about educating themselves to eliminate their ignorance? Whoa, now you're asking too much there! Better to accept their non-pology (and I am fucking sick of…

Press the button, turn the handle.
"Who ties up guys with a bow?!"

I know a lot of excellent people whose parents had them later, like after 32. Don't know if there is something to that.

I enjoy normal lagers, like Heineken or Foster's which is 4.3%, so okay then: one and two-thirds beers. Gawd.
Homemade hipster dark-sludge beer has the alcohol, but is hardly refreshing.

I like The Barbershop segment on Tell Me More, and just skip to that on the NPR website. They had Michael Steele as the conservative voice a few times, which was an inspired choice.

With you all the way, but try telling that to pro-life folks who believe the next Einstein or John Lennon will never exist because someone is on the pill or used Plan B.
Freakonomics show that the overall crime rate has gone down since Roe v. Wade (fewer people having kids they do not want, who grow up to be…

Sorry about that, Dik, I felt the first question was too involved (and not very humorous) so I tried to change it before you answered. Damn Disquss.
The new girl is about the same as the ex, in looks and temper (as in: kinda meh, and kinda "difficult", to put it nicely). The divorce happened because the ex was an…

If you go with the gum or lozenges, use it as much as you want, whenever you want. Those "gradual reduction" instructions are merely suggestions.

Lime-a-Rita is actually quite refreshing over ice, with a little Sprite added. It's 8%, so it does the job of two beers.

Dear Savage Dik;
Kids before age 28; dumb idea or not?

Yeah, the downward spiral started with the broken foot. Or at least that's what she remembers.

NPR Favorite- Wait Wait (But I've been warming to Ask Me Another)
NPR Bleh- The Takeaway

"Okay, Supe, we're going to ask you three questions about Bizzaro Superman. If you get two out of three right, my henchman Carl Kassel won't use his kryptonite voice on your Fortress of Solitude answering machine!"

Couldn't be helped.