Gladiatrices.

At least they don't imply ownership of said dildo. They always use the indefinite article a dildo; never your dildo.

This is where the fish lives!

"The Wizard" was her pet name for my penis.

MCBAIN TO BASE

I read that as "Jedi group".

Kids today don't get Jim Anchower references.

That header picture may be the single least attractive photo of anyone anywhere. It may have turned me off permanently.

That's right, I did the Iggy!

And here I thought I was the only one.

Dame Elton John

Roy Cohn

oh no

DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT

That's not true. It's a lie, completely made up. But it's an entertaining lie. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer, of course, is no.

I've said "Hodor" so many times, the word has lost all meaning!

Dear Penthouse Forum: I never thought it would happen to me, but…

God rest his smutty soul.

Both. I usually end up making something up like "Every time and the guy is what, and dancing in the street". My "Walking on Sunshine" is basically Fry's from Futurama.

A Haunted Hose
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the garden…