Both "legacy acts with no original members" and "rival tribute bands" sound like good ideas for documentaries. I want to see the lead singer of Platinum Zeppelin calling the guys in Led Hindenburg a bunch of hacks.

When did you realize that you had the talent and ability to try to make a go of it as a professional actor/musician/writer etc.?

This guy wheezes and blubbers over a young prostitute and gets acclaimed by the art world and history. I just get my wallet stolen.

Guys, what exactly is a Street Fighter?

Most guys in the front row of a Carrie Underwood concert are trying to look up her skirt, so she'd probably welcome the change.

They're only pouring champagne if someone ordered it at the bar they work at now.

I call defensive back. I like to think I'd do cool Deion-style runbacks during my numerous pick-sixes. But it's more like I'd make awesome "oh shit" faces every time I get burned deep and really sadly shake my head as I walk off the field in the background of someone else's touchdown dance.

Buy an extra thing of ramen when the paycheck from their arena football team clears.

And that holder was Brad Wing, Aussie punter who had the best punter moment of the decade — running a fake punt all the way for a TD when he played for LSU — called back for his excessive celebration during the play. The officials should have been tried at The Hague.

Spoiled, yes. He's from northern Alabama but he wound up at NC State because the Bama and Auburn coaches didn't want to deal with his dad's (who was also his HS coach) demands for special treatment for his boy.

No regular coverage of this season's 30 For 30? Guess I have to leave this "You Talkin' The U 2 to Me?" here.

My standard at bat music would be "Gasoline Dreams," the beginning "all right all right…" part. If I went into a slump, I'd switch up to "Hasa Diga Eebowai" or "Baby Got Back".

The plot was more like Frank is courted by the top of the line organization that will guarantee high social standing but only admits lighter-skinned members. There is also a less prestigious group that admits everyone and is a lot more fun. He joins the fun group.

Loads of young women with daddy issues haven't gotten over their obsession with Mr. Mike Brady.

If "buzz" was enough to get a show the award, Glee would have won for its first season instead of Modern Family.

"neither Los Lobos nor Lisa Lisa helped Latino artists gain any real foothold on the market"

We have a very important school report on turquoise jewelry due in two days, and we can't find any books on it, and the President's having us followed. It's too much pressure!

They just needed to add two scenes, a total of 20 seconds. One, the gang all dressed in black, with Ted weeping into Marshall's shoulder while he embraces him with all he's got. Two, L'il Penny saying to Lily, "Why doesn't Daddy smile any more? He didn't have a good time at the Re-nay-sance Fair." That would've been…

Line 9, Rich Homie Quan — because of his key contributions to Michigan State's Rose Bowl win.

"Pictures of her feet would've guaranteed six seasons and a movie."
—Dan Schneider.